My children are all so different. Today they all brought out different things in me. I have a son, who is just 5 years old. He kind of lives in his own little world. He is stubborn, and today his stubbornness and naughtiness gave me such a laughing fit, I embarrassed myself on the phone with the pediatricians office.
Lately, Chase has been refusing to put his pants back on after using the bathroom. Underwear, yes (thank goodness), pants no. Today, I didn't have time to argue. We had to go to Madison's appointment - being late was not an option. It would begin a domino effect of lateness and I hate being late! Too many things to do today - so the pants-less Chase climbed in his booster seat, white t-shirt, white undies, little white legs, white socks and green camo crocs. (Even some colored undies would have made it better- but, no, they were white.) I figured we'd be fine, he didn't have to get out of the car at all. Who cares if he stays in the van pants-less?
I thought it would be a good time to make some phone calls- you know, sitting in the van waiting for Madison (we do that a lot). I called one doctor, texted my husband, played a game of Sudoku, then decided to call the pediatrician to set up appointments for flu shots. As I was listening to the automatic greeting, Chase starts doing his "potty, potty, potty , POTTY...." routine. There isn't much time to spare when he starts jumping up and down. And he was still pants-less. I didn't see much hope in getting his pants on so we could go inside, so I did something I NEVER do- I told him to pee in the bushes in front of the car. He thought that was such a fabulous idea! What a great mommy- he still didn't have to put his pants on. So out he went. I should know better than to let a 5 year old out of the van when waiting for a 50 minute appointment.
After he did his business, there was no way he was getting back in the car. So he began dancing around the parking lot- a little white thing bobbing all around. (it's at a church so there's not much going on in the parking lot) Still on the phone I got out of the car and tried to corral him back in. It was hopeless, and I was was getting nowhere with it. I got back in the car and then spotted him in my rearview mirror. The little stinker was climbing up the back of the van holding on to the rear windshield wiper, and he thought he was doing it on the sly.
Still on the phone, just about to talk to the receptionist, I decided to teach that kid a lesson. Unfortunately I don't use the rear wipers very often so it took me a few seconds to get to the right controls. You should have seen his face as the wipers began to magically move! His face was exactly what I was looking at the moment the receptionist answered at the dr's office. He had such a look of shock. He slid down the windshield and disappeared for a moment. I was laughing so hard I could hardly breathe. Speaking was out of the questions. I kept saying, "I'm sorry... I'm just....Oh, I'm sorry....give me a second...." I'm sure she thought I was crying. She kept saying, "It's ok, it's ok....." Chase's head popped back into view. He was cautiously eyeing the wipers. I finally was able to say "I'm sorry- I'm just laughing so hard... I'm calling about flu shots for the Becksteads..." (they totally know us by name at the doctors- we make quite an impression) I was barely able to keep from busting up again during my phone call, and meanwhile Chase decided that dancing in the parking lot was probably better than taking his chances with those crazy moving wiper things.
Oh goodness- I am still laughing about it. Maybe you had to be there! I'm glad I was.
And just for the record, he never did put his pants back on. He, did however, put basketball shorts on when we had to go out later to deliver treats to the ladies I visit teach. Thank goodness. I've got to remember to only put the colored undies on him from now on. At least they look a little bit more like shorts. LOVE that kid! Wow- I'm still laughing. And now I've got to get some sleep. I have to take 3 littles to the dentist first thing in the morning. WHAT was I THINKING!!!!! Maybe I'll still be laughing about our pants-less afternoon. That would help.
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